I am 1000% in the Halloween zone now.

Reblogging this to say goodbye to my lip piercings which I officially retired on Monday 😦

I’m feeling pretty sad/stressed about it actually because I used them as a coping mechanism when I was feeling anxious and nervous (I’d chew on the back of them or just move them around a bit to distract myself) and now I have nothing. I’m a really indecisive person as well so I made the decision on Monday but I’ve been up and down about it since then and right now I really miss them but it’s too late, they closed up at the back already. I could probably force them through but I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Well, bye babies – you’ve been with me for a huge chunk of my life and made me feel 10x more confident and helped me with stress and anxiety but I guess it’s just time. ♥

Personal stuff;

Hey guys. I’ve been a bit MIA the last few days (though it probably doesn’t seem like it since my queue’s been going as normal) and that’s just because everything’s kind of getting on top of me right now.

That little cutie in the video is Castiel, my new kitten. I got him on Sunday and he’s taking up pretty much 80% of my free time.

I set up an Instagram for him if anyone wants to follow him. The other 20% is going to job searching, helping my dad with our chickens and watching Supernatural.

Onto more personal things, I kind of had a mini-breakdown yesterday. I took a couple days off work because I didn’t want to leave Cas on his own when he’s still getting settled in. He still needed a couple of little things, like some toys and a scratching post so on Monday I went with my mum and sister to the shops to get him some stuff. On the way home I noticed an ad for a dispenser position open in a pharmacy but since we were already leaving we decided to go back on Tuesday to check it out.

So yesterday we went back and went to some other shops first and saw that there was an opening for a part-time assistant in a store called Home Bargains (if you’re from the UK you’ll know what that is. If not, it’s a really cheap store that sells brand stuff at low prices). I handed my CV into one of the supervisors and then she asked if I wanted to stay for a few minutes to have an interview because the manager was currently doing interviews anyway. So I said yes and she took me to the staff room to wait and I just instantly felt sick. Not because I was nervous about having an interview but I think the situation just fully dawned on me when I stepped into that tiny, depressing, smelly staff room.

I know that when you’re out of a job and looking for something that you can’t be picky but I honestly don’t think I can work there, if I even get offered a position (which I think I will because the manager was really chatty and nice with me and I think it went pretty well). And I don’t mean this to come off in a way like “I’m better than that sort of work” – it’s not like that at all, I actually respect the people that work there way more than I did before because I’m not strong enough to do it, I really don’t think I am. Having social anxiety doesn’t help with that of course.

Anyway, I got home and got back to my room and just instantly burst into tears. I felt physically sick and just so scared. I actually came so close to calling me ex and just crying to him and telling him I needed him and that I didn’t want to go through all of this alone. But I didn’t, because that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I mean, I knew all this time I had it good at my current job, and that’s why I never looked for anything else. But just being in that room and realising this is what I might have to do in 3-4 weeks made me see just how good I’ve had it for the past 6 years. And now I’m fucking terrified. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, honestly.

Back to sims/tumblr-related things – since I’ve got my hands full with Castiel and job-searching and trying to keep myself together in general, I don’t have time to play anything right now so I’m putting my queue down to about 2 or 3 posts a day, to try and make it last a week or two. I’ll still be active and lurking on my dash during the day as well, at least for the next couple of weeks.

Sorry for the depressing shit, I just had to get it down somewhere.

If I were…

If I were a month, I’d be July
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Saturday
If I were a planet, I’d be Saturn
If I were a god or goddess, I’d be Persephone
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Narwhal
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a Bed
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a Peridot
If I were a flower, I’d be a Bird of Paradise
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be Warm with a drizzle of rain
If I were a colour, I’d be Green
If I were an emotion, I’d be Jittery
If I were a fruit, I’d be a Banana
If I were a sound, I’d be Songbird’s Screech
If I were an element, I’d be Cobalt (?? idfk lol)
If I were a place, I’d be Rapture
If I were a taste, I’d be Dark Chocolate
If I were an object, I’d be a Scented Candle
If I were a body part, I’d be a Pinky Toe
If I were a song, I’d be Sander Cohen’s Masterpiece
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be Lace Up Boots

I was tagged by woohooty and hicandyellen and I tag letichespixels, berrysimlish, berrypixelbobs, secretlygenerouscupcake, engrampixels, simnels, robotfishes and anyone else who wants to do it!

5 Questions;

I was tagged by woohooty, pxelpop and league-of-sims – thank you!

Questions from woohooty;

1. Is there a memory you would want to permanently erase?

Yes, definitely.

2. What would you go back and do again?

I’d go back and change the way I brought up Joel so he would never have went ‘missing’. I already knew what would happen but I pushed it to the back of my mind and gave into everyone else telling me he’ll be fine. I’m not blaming anyone else, it was on me at the end of the day but yeah – I would give anything to go back and change that.

3. Something you never want to be told?

Probably something like my parents’ being in an accident. Tbh I really don’t know what I’d do without them and I’m actually really scared to lose them one day.

4. Coffee or Tea?

Neither, haha. I guess only green tea.

5. Are you a really emotional person?

That’s a tough one. In general, no. But when it comes to video games/TV/movies – I’m a blubbering mess. Fictional characters fucking kill me. As well as animals. Like, don’t fuck with them, please. I can’t handle it.

Questions from pxelpop;

1. Favourite Book?

Rapture by John Shirley.

2. If you could choose anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Either my room (lol I’m so boring but it’s my happy/comfortable place) or like, Blizzcon or something, where I can be with people like me. (there should be a simscon because you lot are the best and it would be so amazing to get us all together, just sayin’)

3. Sour, Sweet or Spicy foods?

SWEET ALL THE WAY. I can’t deal with spicy even in the slightest and sour is just nope – unless it’s sour candy than that’s ok.

4. Describe yourself in 3 words.

Quiet, Empathetic, VIDEO GAMES TRASH

5. What are you most afraid of?

To be honest, probably sleep paralysis? I’ve never experienced it myself but I’ve heard stories of it and holy fuck, nope nope nope to that shit. The thought of it alone terrifies me to my core.

Questions from league-of-sims;

1. What do you order at Starbucks?

Well, I don’t go to Starbucks but I do go to Costa and it’s very similar. I always order a Hazelnut hot chocolate, sometimes with cream.

2. What would you do with £1 million?

I’d book a trip for my parents for whatever they’d want to do and buy them a new car. I’d give a chunk of it to them as well and some to my sister. I’d buy my own flat and/or house. I’d get a dog, donate some to some charities/Edinburgh Zoo, upgrade my PC and put the rest of it in savings.

3. What is the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

HAHAH. That question is so hilarious to me because I’m like… NOT that person. I don’t take risks, I don’t do crazy things so I honestly can’t think of anything that I’ve done that’s even been mildly dangerous… I guess when I was like 11/12 I started talking to a guy on Gaia and we started ‘going out’ and I fucking gave him my phone number/address. He constantly shrugged off going on cam or talking on the phone but I still convinced myself that he was genuine. Fucking hell, how dumb can you be tho. Sometimes I still freak myself out wondering if he still has my address and just shows up one day and murders me lol. I know it’s ridiculous but yeah.

4. What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?

“UGHH, SNOOZE”! I’m definitely not a morning person.

5. What question do you hate to answer?

Probably interview-like questions. You know those dumbass questions like “what are your strengths? Have you ever had to be in a position of responsibility? Why should we pick you for this job?” I just hate having to sell myself basically and like, describe myself because I find it really difficult and having anxiety really doesn’t help with that.

I tag anyone who feels like doing it and these are my questions;

Hot chocolate or Coffee/Tea?
Do you work/are you in school? What do you do/study?
Where was the last place you went (other than home)?
Do you have a nickname? If so, what is it and how did you get it?
Glasses or mugs?

eggusoup:

its official i am until dawn trash

I’m really lazy and hate taking showers.
I always said I wouldn’t watch Supernatural because I saw it all over Tumblr and I just got put off by it but a certain someone got me into watching it and now I’m hooked. I’m almost finished Season 5 now ~~I’m fucking love Castiel ok he’s too good i lovehim so much protect hiiiim~~
My makeup collection is fairly big but I barely ever actually wear any of it because like I said above – I’m lazy. I’d rather have 40 mins extra sleep than bother putting makeup on.
Until Dawn is the first proper horror game I’ve ever finished AND I LOVED IT.
I’m a huge collector and even if I like something by a small amount then I need to have ALLLL THE THINGS. My Bioshock collection is definitely the biggest collection I have.
I have 8 piercings. 4 in my face, 3 in my ears and 1 in my belly button.

best to worst sign to crush on

zodiac–signs:

Libra. best to crush on cause they’re sweethearts!!

Aries. yes, you always know where they stand

Leo. *crushes on you too*

Pisces. genuinely cares about your emotional state & gives you cookies

Gemini. thinks it’s cool and hangs out with you a lot

Cancer. appreciates it v much and tries not to hurt you

Virgo. sends mixed signals

Aquarius. may act a lil cold because they dont understand WHY.

Scorpio. just ignores you or lets you down easily if they care enough

Taurus. says: aw. then: no. sorry

Capricorn. HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW if they’re interested or not???

Sagittarius. don’t cling but don’t be cold. don’t be overbearing but don’t be detached. don’t over do it but don’t give up. easy

(as in when you have a crush on the signs. not how you act when you have a crush).

Going to a funday event at a local vet

nenpysims:

pickypikachu:

chlorov:

[SCREAMING]

KILL ME.

Holyshitholyshitholyshit