Tag: saviorhide

We had to say goodbye to Cas last night.

After Friday night, he started getting worse again. He was having full-on seizures again and they were happening more frequently. On advice from the vet, we upped his phenobarbital dose slightly and it helped for a few hours but then he got worse again. He had a really bad seizure last night about an hour after his latest dose. He couldn’t walk properly after it and his vision went completely. He had no idea what was going on.

We called the vet and he said that it might be time. He wasn’t getting any better, the meds weren’t working and there wasn’t anything we could do. It was clearly something in his brain and the only way to know was to have an MRI scan but he would’ve needed to be referred to another city for that and it also would’ve cost thousands with no guarantee anyone could fix the problem. Even then, there wouldn’t have been time. The seizures were getting so close together, and lasting longer.

So we had to say goodbye. It’s all just been so sudden. Every day up until Thursday morning he was totally fine, he was just a normal cat. And then suddenly, he starts having seizures and 3 days later he has to be put to sleep. I’m struggling to cope with it all. He was my baby, I loved him so much. I know it was the right thing to do and he was deteriorating so fast that it had to be done but… I’m just so sorry that there wasn’t anything else I could do. He wasn’t even 3 years old, he didn’t deserve this.

@saartje77 @plumbobsandllamas @dailywalkersworld @annegirl13 @rosebud1773 @actuallyindie @smirkeh @frecklesandpixels @marquis-de-bechdel

Thank you all so much for your comments on this post. Cas is home now, he’s not doing great but there has been progress.

He’s on phenobarbital now which he has to have two times every day. We have to keep that going for the next 3 weeks and then have another blood test done at the vet and see how he’s getting on.

He hasn’t had any more seizures since he got home but he has had some ‘episodes’. He basically tenses up, like he’s scared and stares off into the distance, salivating a lot. He does that for about 20-30 seconds and then he comes down from it but he starts meowing really loudly and looks really confused, again for about 20-30 seconds. Then he calms down and gets lethargic. That’s basically what was happening all of last night, about 2 times an hour.

I’m hoping that once the medication is properly in his system (which the vet said would take about 5 days) then things will start to normalise and he’ll get back to how he was before. I know he won’t ever be 100% like he was before but I’m just hoping the episodes stop or at least go down from 2 times an hour like they are at the moment. At least he isn’t having any seizures anymore, I’m thankful for that.

But anyway, thank you to everyone who commented and gave advice and support. I really, really appreciate it ♥

my baby is at the vet right now and i’m worried out of my mind.

i was driving to work this morning when my mum called me just before 8am to tell me Cas had a seizure. she said he had one at 2am last night and then another just before she called me at 8. i rushed home and we took him to the vet.

they did some blood tests and everything was normal so they prescribed some seizure medication for him but they didn’t have any liquid, just dog tablets which are too big for cats (he would need a 10th of the tablet and it was too small to realistically break up into the correct size. so, they ordered some liquid stuff in but that wouldn’t arrive until tomorrow so they said to take him home and keep a close eye on him.

we took him home, i was getting ready to go into work whilst Cas was sleeping next to me on the sofa. next thing i know, he’s on the floor, having another seizure and i just… my heart broke.

we called the vet who said to take him back in so we left immediately. he slept on top of my knee the whole ride there without moving an inch. he was so confused and sleepy. the vet said we’d have to keep him at the vet overnight, they put him on a drip and gave him seizure meds so we just had to leave.

i can’t believe i’m saying this but i hope it’s epilepsy… because the alternative is he has something going on with his brain, like a tumor. which we’d need to refer him down to edinburgh or glasgow to get an MRI which would cost upwards of £2,000. money that i don’t have. money that my family doesn’t have. i can’t even think about it right now.

but even if he doesn’t have a brain tumor and it’s epilepsy, it means he’s going to potentially be on medication for the rest of his life now

so. yeah. he’s at the vet, all by himself and i feel like shit. he’s all alone and has no idea what’s going on. what if he has another seizure during the night? or more than one? no one is there to comfort him. i have work tomorrow until 2 but i might ask to leave early to go and pick him up. i’m just gonna be sitting at work sick to my stomach worried about him. i have the worst thoughts running through my head right now, like what if they call me first thing tomorrow to say he didn’t make it through the night? i shouldn’t have left him there by himself.

my anxiety is back at it again today/tonight

so first of all, i’ve been anxious and uncomfortable all of today for a couple of reasons. 1, i have a stomach bug which i’ve had since friday and i woke up with crazy stomach cramps. so i’ve been uncomfortable because of that. i already took the morning off my NEW work yesterday because of it, i haven’t even been there 2 weeks yet. hell, i haven’t even fully started there until the start of december, when my notice period from my current work is finished. and i just feel so anxious and guilty about taking time off already, like wtf. they must hate me already and think i’m gonna be like this all the time and regret taking me on.

reason #2, which has just started – i had an interview for a different position last week as a payroll administrator. it’s something i’ve never done before, don’t have any experience with whatsoever but i got an interview so i went. i got an email a couple of days later saying i didn’t get the job. i was expecting and honestly kinda relieved since i’d already accepted this other job and had started part-time and i would feel like an asshole turning around before i’ve even properly started and saying “lol bye, i got another job”. so i was getting pretty content and settled with the way things were going, i’ve been looking forward to finishing at my current work and properly starting at this new place. but then…

i just got an email from the payroll place saying they’ve been trying to contact me and want to know if i’m still interested in the position. and my anxiety has just spiked. i don’t do well with change, i hate change, i hate not knowing what’s going to happen. and this email and the fact they’ve been trying to get in contact with me has put me into a headspin. i don’t know what to do. surely they want to offer me the job, right? well… i don’t know what to do!! so now i’m just anxious af and i feel sick.

the thing is, i know it would be a better environment for me. it would be in an office, not dealing with the public (face-to-face at least, maybe over the phone), working with computers, doing paperwork etc. i like that, i like that environment and i’ve missed that so much. but i have no idea what i’m doing in that role? i suck at maths and it’s PAYROLL i would be dealing with, so there will be a lot of maths involved. i’m comfortable in my new position that i’ve just started because it’s what i’ve been doing the past 2 years. i know exactly what i’m doing, i know the environment and procedures and everything. but i don’t particularly like it, i hate dealing with people all day and it drains me so much. but it’s my comfort zone? and the hours and pay are decent, better than what this other job would be but then this other job would probably lead to better opportunities and experience for my future.

what the fuck do i do

i had a dream last night that it was a week in the future and i was waiting up on thursday night to pay cats & dogs and i was really hyped and then i started playing and brigid and wilson moved to brindleton bay and i was so happy omg i can’t waiiiitttt